I have to admit that I was intrigued by the title of this book, Impossible Motherhood, Testimony of an Abortion Addict. Before I continue writing, I do want to clarify that I am very much pro-life and am completely against abortion. So you might wonder why I would even pick up a book with this title. I was curious as to what would drive a woman to have a total of 15 abortions in 15 years. Besides that, it is such a controversial subject that I agreed with Sarah that it would be good material to share on The Fashionable Bambino.
First I want to say that I almost didn’t finish reading the book. To be honest, the author’s lifestyle choices repulsed me and so did the details she shared. Irene Vilar’s choices are very different than how I have chosen to live – chaste, lover of one man. Irene was obviously hurting and confused not to love herself enough to save her whole being – body, mind and soul – for one person.
Impossible Motherhood is a book about Irene’s journey through the loss of her mother to suicide at the tender age of eight years old. Her father was a philanderer and she had two brothers who were heroin addicts. Besides all of this in her family, her grandmother was a political activist who tried to overthrow the Puerto Rican government and served jail time for this.
Now, as much as one’s roots mold and shape a person, we all have inherent choices of our own. We do have the ability to live vastly different lives to those of our grandparents, parents and siblings. No one forces us to live destructively. Oh, there is so much more that I could say, could share. Just know that addictions are an inner problem and entail so much more that anything we can ever imagine.
Irene Vilar was not just addicted to having abortions – 12 of her 15 pregnancies were with the same man – she was obsessed with an older man who was old enough to be her father, if not grandfather. In her late teens she fell under his power and his desire not to be a father. She allowed at least two of her pregnancies to advance into the second trimester before she changed her mind about becoming a single mother, fearing losing this man’s love. She lost herself by being involved with him. She lost her young womanhood to a life of promiscuity and void of any remorse, again and again and again, for the lives she gave no thought to ending. Yet she was devoid of any joy.
This story is a sad tale of the agony and pain Irene was experiencing in a life without anything to live for. She had no purpose, so she lived recklessly, giving up her babies, and nearly her life, for this one man.
I do not recommend this book for young readers, but women like me will view life, family and her man with a whole new appreciation for having learned of another woman’s anguished story.
Impossible Motherhood may be purchased at any major bookstore.
